This most definitely was an unconventional task. The original story was somewhat unimpressive and hard to work off of. However, Milena has squeezed in some good stuff, even if the plot itself is in no way improved.
First off, I’d like to give out a piece of advice – not just for Milena, but to all the writers out there. Please, re-read your works. Milena’s story contained several typos and these are not only annoying but can also be fatal enough to erase all sense and meaning from an entire sentence (or paragraph even):
“He could see his American was far from being perfect, but she was doing her best trying to use the simplest of language she could come up with.”
Another negative side of Milena’s work is the way the staff of the hotel speaks (yes, I really am gonna go there… again!). Their lack of knowledge in English is presented incorrectly. When speaking in English, Japanese people say “r” instead of “l” and not the other way around. Furthermore, there is no reason for them to speak like Yoda. And the cherry on top – “origami” is a Japanese word! Why on earth would a Japanese person mispronounce his own language and say “olgami”? I could go on and on but these are the main points of my argument here. J
I already mentioned that the original text is not very captivating. This same feeling remains in the new one. I am not saying that Milena’s story is bad – I am saying that she has not changed it all that much. The plotline is absolutely the same, the setting and the atmosphere as well. I am not sure if that was the actual task; parodying the entire story that is.
I think that Milena has induced the parody, not in the story, but the characters alone. However, the qualities that they possess in this newer version already exist in the original – they are just not that obvious. The uninterested, TV watching husband, the spoiled wife – it’s all there.
On the other hand, I think this is where the fun is in this “parody”. Milena has sensed that this is what “sold” the original story, and has decided to put her money on the same. I think she made the right choice, not only because I agree, but because she has done a great job.
The culture clash has been skillfully presented. The Americanness of the guests stands out to a disgusting extent. Their misinterpretation of the unfamiliar environment was indeed humorous at times. Yet it annoyed me more than anything else, probably because many Americans are that way in reality. Maybe it’s me – maybe I’m just not in a “ha-ha” mood.
“American Cherry” makes a good light read. However, it was slightly ruined by the L vs. R inaccuracy as I kept thinking “this is wrong!!” – the Japanese say “r” in place of “l”, instead of “l” in place of “r” (eg. Engrish) as it is presented in the story.
The part where I truly laughed was the last scene with the origami. It’s excellent!
Apart from that the humor was weak. I fully understand where it is supposed to derive from, I just failed to laugh. It *is* a good source of humor, though, and with some more work it will turn out a lot more successful.
Review of Milena’s American Cherry by Danail
ReplyDeleteThis most definitely was an unconventional task. The original story was somewhat unimpressive and hard to work off of. However, Milena has squeezed in some good stuff, even if the plot itself is in no way improved.
First off, I’d like to give out a piece of advice – not just for Milena, but to all the writers out there. Please, re-read your works. Milena’s story contained several typos and these are not only annoying but can also be fatal enough to erase all sense and meaning from an entire sentence (or paragraph even):
“He could see his American was far from being perfect, but she was doing her best trying to use the simplest of language she could come up with.”
Another negative side of Milena’s work is the way the staff of the hotel speaks (yes, I really am gonna go there… again!). Their lack of knowledge in English is presented incorrectly. When speaking in English, Japanese people say “r” instead of “l” and not the other way around. Furthermore, there is no reason for them to speak like Yoda. And the cherry on top – “origami” is a Japanese word! Why on earth would a Japanese person mispronounce his own language and say “olgami”? I could go on and on but these are the main points of my argument here. J
I already mentioned that the original text is not very captivating. This same feeling remains in the new one. I am not saying that Milena’s story is bad – I am saying that she has not changed it all that much. The plotline is absolutely the same, the setting and the atmosphere as well. I am not sure if that was the actual task; parodying the entire story that is.
I think that Milena has induced the parody, not in the story, but the characters alone. However, the qualities that they possess in this newer version already exist in the original – they are just not that obvious. The uninterested, TV watching husband, the spoiled wife – it’s all there.
On the other hand, I think this is where the fun is in this “parody”. Milena has sensed that this is what “sold” the original story, and has decided to put her money on the same. I think she made the right choice, not only because I agree, but because she has done a great job.
The culture clash has been skillfully presented. The Americanness of the guests stands out to a disgusting extent. Their misinterpretation of the unfamiliar environment was indeed humorous at times. Yet it annoyed me more than anything else, probably because many Americans are that way in reality. Maybe it’s me – maybe I’m just not in a “ha-ha” mood.
“American Cherry” makes a good light read. However, it was slightly ruined by the L vs. R inaccuracy as I kept thinking “this is wrong!!” – the Japanese say “r” in place of “l”, instead of “l” in place of “r” (eg. Engrish) as it is presented in the story.
ReplyDeleteThe part where I truly laughed was the last scene with the origami. It’s excellent!
Apart from that the humor was weak. I fully understand where it is supposed to derive from, I just failed to laugh. It *is* a good source of humor, though, and with some more work it will turn out a lot more successful.